I Am Staying Single Until I Find a Guy Like My Dad & Brother


Men are peculiar creatures. 

They opt for mowing the lawn right as dinner is being served. 

They opt for eating a huge mess of chips and salsa right before Sunday lunch. A forty percent chance of rain is in the forecast for the day; nevertheless, their mission is to wash and wax the car completely. Spick and span, shiny and ready to hit the highway; and as always it starts to rain right after, too. 

They object to watching sappy chick-flicks but are usually the ones more engrossed in the plot line than you are. 

They say they don’t like shopping, yet when the time does come to shop [i.e., grocery shopping, etc.], they’re the first ones in the car and the last ones to want to head back home. 

They say they’re hardcore and opt for bitter coffee but never decline your offer for a spot of Lemon Zinger tea if they know you’re brewing a pot; because they’re secretly little boys who still like to feel warm and safe inside and out.

Men are peculiar creatures because although some come across as a man’s man while logically washing the car before a storm hits [seriously, why not just let the rain do its job, guys?], or delighting in the simple things us girls take for granted – every girl's dream, really – others are quite the opposite. 

Don’t get me wrong; there are men out there who are true romantics. If I have learned anything from my dad and brother [who is currently dating a pretty awesome lady] over the years, it is that a man’s version of romance isn’t always fireworks. Or late-night strolls. Or stargazing in the bed of a Candy Apply Red Dodge truck [although my brother is pretty darn good when it comes to that sort of thing]. 

Sometimes, when a man loves his woman, he does the most ordinary things to prove that he is in love. And if he's anything like my dad, that means: fixing the air-conditioning on the car, or buying her new furniture, or painting the back deck and putting up a two-seater porch swing, so he has a bonafide reason to sing John Anderson's Swingin'.

A man's definition of romance doesn’t always come across as mushy, which might bother some ladies. But it is in their actions that we are left with little to no doubt of how much they love and care for their woman (and their family). My dad does it through fixing things and making things. My brother shows it the same way, except he's a tad bit sappier [ah, young love!]. That's the kind of man I want. Someone who's willing to invest time and effort into a relationship - not just to show me he cares [anyone can do that], but to show me that his intentions are sincere and Christ-centered. What's more important than cuddles and candle light dinners is that he be a protector and provider, spiritual leader and best friend. 

However, from experience, some men would rather use words to show they care. There is nothing wrong with that, except when their actions stop only at words.

It is then, my dears, you have a problem. Sure, they guy likes you.

He says all the right things. 

He makes eye contact. 

He is playful and sweet and tender and – yeah, he’s every woman’s ideally romantic partner that can only be found in a Hallmark movie. 

Men are peculiar creatures because they were born to act on their instincts, not coddle them with chocolates and sweet, effervescent words of love and truth and warmth. As hard as it has been for even me to realize, men aren’t like women. Indeed, they value action rather than words; whereas we are more than ready to accept their words as fact without the evidence of intentional actions to back up their said claim and vow of adoration. Oh, how we have made it so easy for men to be lazy!

To be honest, there is nothing wrong with words of affirmation from a man. They do feel good. Like you’re floating on Cloud 9. 

Sadly, if that is all a man ever offers you, there is a problem – one that needs to be addressed. A man that cannot follow through with what he has said with firm actions, then he is playing you like an out-of-tune fiddle. It's possible that his intentions are for sex. And if that’s the case, he’s no good for you, honey. 

I hate to break it to you, but when a man is showering you with words but never with actions, there is no reason for you to stay. Honestly, that's something that should raise red flags. 

Protect your heart because in this situation, if you should stay, you will end up with a broken heart and a bruised ego, and so much more. 

Having your emotions played with by a man who never intended on putting them first before his selfishness and his insecurities will hurt you more than it will him. 

So, take my advice and leave. Don’t think about it. Don’t sleep on it. Don’t pray about it. RUN. These are red flags. And if you’re picking up on them and your heart is racing, and your chest feels stiff, then God’s already sending you a message. 

Stop lollygagging and ditch him, like, yesterday.

Wait for a man who is ready and mature enough to prove himself to you through actions, as well as words. If he truly cares and has feelings for you, he will act on them and pursue. 

He will be intentional. 

He will always have you on his mind; he will text and call you on time. 

He will speak life into the relationship, not kill it with doubts about his intentions. 

Wait for a man who is not only a man’s man [aka a leader, protector, provider] but a guy who’s willing to go through rings of fire to prove his love for you. Even if that means he secretly enjoys sipping on a cup of your Lemon Zinger tea or mowing the lawn right before dinner or washing the car right before it storms, or calling “shotgun” on grocery shopping day because they do like going to Walmart.

Regardless of their reasoning, it is apparent that their primary purpose is to love you by doing the simplest of things with and for you. He might not be the most affectionate guy, but his actions are his way of professing his devotion. More often than naught, actions speak louder than words. After a while, words fall on deaf-ear, but actions are timeless examples that love never fails or grows old. 

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