5 Reasons Why Being Single is Awesome

November 18, 2016


The world places this expectation on women that predicates a woman's worth by her relationship status. Don't get me wrong, I dislike being single as much as the next girl; however, how you handle being single says a lot about your spiritual and mental maturity. If you're adamant about being in a relationship and do not have a clue about what you're intentions are behind this need to be in a relationship, then how can you ever expect to find someone who is serious about HIS intentions? If you're wishy-washy about what you're looking for in a man (a GODLY man), then why are you even looking at all? The purpose of dating I have come to realize (after many failed dates) is that if you don't know what you want you're either going to go on countless crappy dates and get burned out in the process, or you're going to fall into the "play boy love trap" and become consumed in a loveless romance that is stagnant, and often comes with long-term repercussions if you are not solid in your values and morals and faith.

Seriously though, why do we place so much emphasis on being in a relationship? My biggest question is why are we afraid of being "alone" and being the black sheep in society? Being single is nothing to fret about! There is never a moment where it should ever be something you should worry about. I say this because I know what it's like to get sick over the idea that you'll be forever alone. Well, who cares?! Quite honestly, I find that being single is a much better option than being tied to a man than is less than God's best.

Singleness is a season of life that we need to take advantage of (I am talking to myself here, too!) and appreciate it for what it is: freedom to serve God with reckless abandon. I have thought a lot about being single. A LOT. Sometimes it's because I am wallowing in self-pity.

There, I said it!

However, there are other times when I am perfectly and incandescently happy with my current relationship status. And when that occurs (now more often than naught), I find that it is amazingly easy to find a plethora of things to appreciate about the single life. There is a huge list of pros and cons about dating, but if you think about it....there's really nothing to lose by being single!


So, since I am sitting her going on and on about singleness and how there are actually good things about this season of life, I've jotted down my top five reasons why being single is awesome-sauce. 

ONE: You have time to grow the most as an individual. There is nothing more attractive than knowing who you are and being in touch with your dreams and passions! Take time to discover them, and fall in love with yourself in the process.

TWO: You can RELAX. Trust me, God has something BETTER in store for you than this One Direction fantasy you have on repeat in your cute little noggin. It's OKAY to be picky.

THREE: Focus on Christ and build your relationship with Him. Building a relationship with Christ will not only teach you a thing or two about true love, but what it really means to serve and protect and, of course genuinely and intentionally LOVE. You need to rely on God before you can count on anyone else.
FOUR: Explore and create and serve. You have a lot of time to devote to doing things you enjoy, and whether it be volunteering for a good cause, creating a masterpiece, or traveling the globe do it wholeheartedly and do it in a way that brings Glory to God! Whatever you do make it count!

FIVE: You are owned and operated by the Holy Spirit...not the world. Who said you have to follow the status quo? Break the mold and embrace what you know is truth! If a guy passes you up because you're a virgin, or are done playing games and want to get serious about your intentions, DO NOT SWEAT IT. Be thankful that God sent that dude packing and move on. There's nothing wrong with being a good girl who values herself, and is confident and independent. Allowing God to teach you about patience and contentment is not a curse, but a blessing. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Pray. Wait. Trust.

November 17, 2016

I do not always get the chance to write out my thoughts. I should like to be able to decompress and allow the swarm tossing and turning in my head to flutter away like words to when being written on paper. But, that never seems to be the case now that I am older and in college, and trying to make it through each day one second at a time. 

Ah! College. It does something to you. Maybe not in the first couple of semesters, but things change. You change. You're mind-set changes. You're body changes - Good 'ole Freshman 15! (Or in my case, you lose weight)! Either way, college is one huge obstacle that leaves you befuddled at the end of each semester. 

Honestly, I should be writing my fifteen-page paper for my History of the Middle East class, but I felt God place some pretty deep stuff on my heart lately that I just cannot ignore. I mean, it's personal. It's not something everyone is dealing with, I guess. But, then again, maybe there numerous people dealing with this similar issue than I think. College and being an adult can be so exciting, especially when you begin feeling those sweet moments of independence as your parents slowly, but surely, start to release their fervent grip on your life and your heart. As they allow you to make your own decisions, that's when college really changes you. For better or for worse, or both. 

I am 23 - almost 24 within a matter of weeks - and I have been single for four years running. I am not complaining; however, I am restless. I find myself praying that God will lead me to my future husband, that He will lead him to me. On and on and on the prayer goes until I just get so angry with myself and with God for the way I feel. I am in college, for goodness sake! I should be having the time of my life like I assume everyone else is, and yet, I am on my last semester and have never felt completely happy with my life or the direction I am headed. Maybe I am overthinking things, and maybe I am just being a selfish brat. (It could be a culmination of both, to be honest)! 

Praying never seems to work. But, for some reason I have faith that it will. At least one of these days. I guess that's why I keep praying, because I know there is something good in store for me around the corner if I just continue to wait it out and pray.

And that got me to thinking.... 

I might not ever find the love of my life before I graduate, but you know, that's okay. I shouldn't be in a rush to find my "dream guy" anyhow. After all, what do I know about love? I am only a quarter of a century old and I have still so much to learn about loving my Lord and serving others. I am far from ready to be someone's wife, let alone a mother to a gaggle of babies! 

In realizing this, I have began changing the way that I think and pray about my future relationships. I don't want to pray merely to satisfy my longings and desires. What good is that going to do to pray for the willingness to receive love if I have not begun to prepare my heart to love them in return? I want to prepare myself to be my future husband's Help Meet. And by doing so I need to take the focus off of me and how I can please myself, and restructure my prayers to honor the desires and needs of my future spouse and children. 

My prayers now consist of seeking God's will for what He wants from me as a single woman, and that He give me the patience and contentment to fully understand His plan for this valley that I am in. In the same breath, I desire to know what He requires of me as a future wife for the man He has planned. And now I find myself praying NOT for a husband (although that would be a bonus), but praying that God will prepare me for my husband. That He will tune my heart to sing my heaven;t Father's praise, and place it on my heart a willingness to serve, defend, obey and love my husband. 

If I pray ONLY for what I want, then I am missing the point of what God wants to fulfill in my life. Marriage is something He has laid on my heart, and I do not doubt for one moment He would ever deny me that pure, heartfelt dream. However, I don't want to sit around idly and lust after the idea of affection and "togetherness". I want to prepare myself as a woman of God to meet the needs of my future spouse and children, which cannot be done if I am focused solely on what I WANT. 

Praying for Godly attributes has helped me to be patient and more content, for sure!

Pray for wisdom. (Proverbs 14:1)
Pray for an obedient heart. (Ephesians 5:22) 
Pray for sensibility and a spirit of encouragement. (Titus 2:4-5)
Pray for a spirit of Love. (1 Corinthians 13:4-13)